The Life Before “Us”
July 14th
When it becomes apparent that you are in a very stable, happy, long term relationship, when is appropriate to bring up the past relationships? Do we just automatically think life begins again when we enter a new relationship and whatever happened before then, no longer exists. Do we sub consciously start our lives again in a new hope that our life will end with this relationship rather than look back on all the ones that crashed and burned?
When Jason and I first started dating, I did what any insecure, curious and shallow bitch would do – I hacked his facebook. Yes, call it what you will but whether you want it admit it or deny it, I know that you have at some stage of your relationship had a sneak peak through your partner’s personal accounts/mobiles/computers etc…
It’s always interesting what you find, and more often than not, most women will finish their snooping with a pea of doubt in their minds. I wasn’t any different. Upon hacking his facebook, I instantly went to his messages – the exclusive part of the world where all the sneaky happenings go on. What I found was an endless array of private messages with girls. Some were him asking them out, others were him talking with girls about a “no-strings-attached” relationship, but more often than not it was them gently rejecting him, letting him down, and pretending they didn’t want to ruin the almost non-existent friendship they supposedly had.
All this evidence summed up to one inevitable conclusion: he was desperate. The evidence was right there in front of me. Him being interested in a girl – me – 8 years younger than him, the endless messages from him to girls scrabbling at anything just to even get a date…and I had fallen for him. My motto and philosophy since I was old enough to masturbate was to never date a desperate guy – you could never be sure they were with you because they liked you or whether they just wanted anyone, anything they could get.
At first, for the next few days all I could think was “Is he with me just because I said I liked him too?” but then I thought…if he had been so desperate that he wanted to date me, he wouldn’t have asked my dad permission…or accepted that we weren’t having sex for a long time. And so, I told him I loved him.
Have you ever had those feelings of doubt about your partner? About their motives of being with you?
4 Responses to The Life Before “Us”
“call it what you will but whether you want it admit it or deny it, I know that you have had some stage of your relationship had a sneak peak through your partner
If my significant other hacked my anything to snoop in my files and I found out, I might break up with him over it – b/c that’s bullshit. I’ve never done or even thought about doing that. It’s different for everyone, but for me trust is paramount. If my boyfriend can’t trust me, we shouldn’t be together.
At any rate, I always think people are crazy for liking me, but if they like me, they like me.
I did, of course, tell him what I had done, lol, it wasn’t as though I did it and never told him. I guess I’m just a naturally nosy person haha.
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I'm an 18 year old Australian girl living with 5 pets - a cat, 3 dogs and my boyfriend. This blog contains my confessions, dreams and (in)coherent ramblings.
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